Sup! I'm touring the U.S! Ha ha! I never been past Pigeon Forge!!! Anyway. 2nd chapter. Right.
Chapter 2:Thomas gets hooves
All of sudden, my friend Thomas acted all weird.
"Thaila, He cried, " let's get out ."
Mr. Lurcher had called the police.
"Run," I yelled. The lunch room was in chaos! Thomas took off his pants.
"Thomas, that is not a good sight," I said.
Thomas had clooven hooves.
Thailia, My friends, Sam and Jason, And Thomas ran off, tugging me behind.
There!! I want you to know I'm making German Boy 2: Attack of the Evil SNOWMEN!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Daniel Jackson and the gods -- book #1, The Prophecy Thief
Look, I'm gonna keep you posted about this book I'm writing. I figure a chapter a week!
Chapter 1: I figure out I don't belong to my own family.
Look, if you think being a halfblood is cool, you're wrong. Big Time. If you find yourself in this book, close it immediately.
It all started when this weird person came to visit me at lunch. She said she knew my brother, and I said, "Caleb?" and she said, "No. No, don't you know about your twin brother Percy?" My mouth dropped open immediately.
"Who is Percy?"
"Percy Jackson," she said.
"No, he's just a book character," I said.
"Really? Well, I better introduce myself then. My name is Thalia Grace. Chiron sent me. Usually we don't do this, but he sent me out to tell you that you're a halfblood."
"This is bad," I said. "From what I've read of Percy Jackson, I'm probably gonna get killed."
Chapter 1: I figure out I don't belong to my own family.
Look, if you think being a halfblood is cool, you're wrong. Big Time. If you find yourself in this book, close it immediately.
It all started when this weird person came to visit me at lunch. She said she knew my brother, and I said, "Caleb?" and she said, "No. No, don't you know about your twin brother Percy?" My mouth dropped open immediately.
"Who is Percy?"
"Percy Jackson," she said.
"No, he's just a book character," I said.
"Really? Well, I better introduce myself then. My name is Thalia Grace. Chiron sent me. Usually we don't do this, but he sent me out to tell you that you're a halfblood."
"This is bad," I said. "From what I've read of Percy Jackson, I'm probably gonna get killed."
Saturday, March 21, 2009
WHAT HAPPENED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that picture, pff, that's old the picture underneath is what i am.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
A Recent Correspondance
Dear Mr. Snicket,
My name is Daniel. I am your number one fan. I'm on book number eleven and I just love your books. Will you ever be coming to Arkansas for a book tour? I really hope so. Maybe I can get my books signed. I have all of them except eleven and twelve. My favorite character would have to be Sunny. Just the way she talks makes me laugh. My sister told me your real name is Daniel Handler. That's awesome! We have the same name. Are the Baudelaires real? Why do you act so mysterious? Please answer.
From your number one fan:
Daniel Burley
Dear Writer,
Thank you for your message. When you wrote it, you probably thought you might receive a reply from Lemony Snicket. You were almost wrong.
I’m sorry to tell you that a letter from Mr. Snicket could put you in terrible danger. For instance, Mr. Snicket wrote a number of letters to a woman named Beatrice, the most alarming of which are contained within the book The Beatrice Letters, and she subsequently died a sad, horrible, awful death that still plagues me to this day. This is an extreme case, of course, but you can see why you would never want to receive a letter signed by Mr. Snicket.
There is at least one thing more dangerous than a letter by Mr. Snicket, however, and that is a book by him. Each of the books in A Series of Unfortunate Events have been more dreadful than the last. The End, the thirteenth and final book in the series, is the most upsetting of all.
Sadly, your message to Lemony Snicket suggests that you may have already read one or several of his books. While I’m sure he is somewhat grateful for your interest in the Baudelaire case, hopefully it is not too late for you to stop before The End. Wouldn’t you prefer to read something else?
With all due respect,
Anonymous Representative
HarperCollins Publishers
Department of Vital Fan Disclosure
My name is Daniel. I am your number one fan. I'm on book number eleven and I just love your books. Will you ever be coming to Arkansas for a book tour? I really hope so. Maybe I can get my books signed. I have all of them except eleven and twelve. My favorite character would have to be Sunny. Just the way she talks makes me laugh. My sister told me your real name is Daniel Handler. That's awesome! We have the same name. Are the Baudelaires real? Why do you act so mysterious? Please answer.
From your number one fan:
Daniel Burley
Dear Writer,
Thank you for your message. When you wrote it, you probably thought you might receive a reply from Lemony Snicket. You were almost wrong.
I’m sorry to tell you that a letter from Mr. Snicket could put you in terrible danger. For instance, Mr. Snicket wrote a number of letters to a woman named Beatrice, the most alarming of which are contained within the book The Beatrice Letters, and she subsequently died a sad, horrible, awful death that still plagues me to this day. This is an extreme case, of course, but you can see why you would never want to receive a letter signed by Mr. Snicket.
There is at least one thing more dangerous than a letter by Mr. Snicket, however, and that is a book by him. Each of the books in A Series of Unfortunate Events have been more dreadful than the last. The End, the thirteenth and final book in the series, is the most upsetting of all.
Sadly, your message to Lemony Snicket suggests that you may have already read one or several of his books. While I’m sure he is somewhat grateful for your interest in the Baudelaire case, hopefully it is not too late for you to stop before The End. Wouldn’t you prefer to read something else?
With all due respect,
Anonymous Representative
HarperCollins Publishers
Department of Vital Fan Disclosure
The Underlander Series by Suzzanne Collins
These books are the greatest series I have ever read because of the people in them. Gregor, Boots, Vykus, and Luxa are all very great people. Vykus and Luxa are humans but they are also Underlanders, a human who lives under the ground. There are fifteen sections to the Underland: the Dead Land, Regalia, Spinners Land, Crawlers Land, Flyers Land, the Fount, but the rest of them are tunnels or spaces in between that no one has claimed. There are five books in the series and I have read two of them: Gregor the Overlander and Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane. There are three more books in the series.
I recommend these books to all who enjoy a great fantasy series and books with prophecies.
I recommend these books to all who enjoy a great fantasy series and books with prophecies.
-- Caleb Burley
German Boy by Daniel
"You will not get away with this, Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese." said German Boy.
"Of course I will! I just need some four-ply tissues. I have a runny nose because it's winter," said Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese.
"I will use my oompa powers to destroy your ray gun! Oompa Oompa Oompa-PA!!!!!" German Boy used his sonic-scream powers!
"OW! You hurt my ears! Want some swiss cheese?" said Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese.
"I'll have some when you're behind BARS!" said German Boy. "I'll use my pig power ray gun."
"The one that shoots mud in the shape of a pig? YAH -- that one's not so scary."
"Then I'll use my cow udders of DOOM!"
"Oh, I forgot about that one! But who's afraid of milk? OH NO!!! I forgot I'm lactose intolerant! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Ha! I have found a way to defeat you! Milk powers ACTIVATE!!" shrieked German Boy with glee.
Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese involuntarily drank the milk and was immediately doubled over in horrendous gas pains. The police came, slapped him into handcuffs, and carted him off to jail.
"Holy Cow it stinks in here! But justice has won," said a triumphant German Boy.
THE END
"Of course I will! I just need some four-ply tissues. I have a runny nose because it's winter," said Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese.
"I will use my oompa powers to destroy your ray gun! Oompa Oompa Oompa-PA!!!!!" German Boy used his sonic-scream powers!
"OW! You hurt my ears! Want some swiss cheese?" said Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese.
"I'll have some when you're behind BARS!" said German Boy. "I'll use my pig power ray gun."
"The one that shoots mud in the shape of a pig? YAH -- that one's not so scary."
"Then I'll use my cow udders of DOOM!"
"Oh, I forgot about that one! But who's afraid of milk? OH NO!!! I forgot I'm lactose intolerant! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Ha! I have found a way to defeat you! Milk powers ACTIVATE!!" shrieked German Boy with glee.
Dr. Swiss-n-Cheese involuntarily drank the milk and was immediately doubled over in horrendous gas pains. The police came, slapped him into handcuffs, and carted him off to jail.
"Holy Cow it stinks in here! But justice has won," said a triumphant German Boy.
THE END
I wanna type it
MOM! You know what I mean! AAAHHHH!! (hands covering face)
STOP TYPING WHAT I'M SAYING!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
WHY DOES CALEB GET TO? aaaaaahhhhh -- I give up.
Don't post this.
Do not put my name on it either.
Do not -- I repeat -- do not put this on our blog.
STOP TYPING WHAT I'M SAYING!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
WHY DOES CALEB GET TO? aaaaaahhhhh -- I give up.
Don't post this.
Do not put my name on it either.
Do not -- I repeat -- do not put this on our blog.
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